HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

(posted by pai)

The holidays are here, and like we said in yesterday's post, we'll be closing tomorrow and Friday so we can celebrate with our families and friends (except me, I don't have any friends, so I will be celebrating with my family only). In the spirit of the holiday season, we thought we'd blog about some of our favorite holiday tunes. Here are our picks for the ultimate holiday playlist:

MAURO

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

It's really no wonder why Mauro chose this one. It's classic. It's also probably the ultimate diss track. I don't know if the Grinch is a real person, but he probably cried for a month straight after this song came out. I'd have to seriously reconsider my lifestyle if someone told me the three words that best describe me are as follows, and I quote: stink. Stank. Stunk.

Dominick the Donkey

All I'm going to say is that you haven't laughed until you've seen Mauro sing the "ee-aw, ee-aw" part of this song. You can't help but feel good when you hear about this donkey, but I do find it weird that there appears to be a dead donkey at the 1:20 mark of that video above. Not sure what that's doing in there...

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Mauro gets three songs because he is the big boss. His final song is about someone who inhaled helium and demanded a hippopotamus for Christmas. It's actually pretty terrifying...

NATHAN

Evan Taubenfield - Merry Swiftmas

Nathan chose this song by some guy who is apparently too good for Meghan Fox. All he wants for Christmas is Taylor Swift. That's nice. I'm more impressed that he actually rhymed something with Scarlett Johansson. Also, I wonder what Taylor Lautner thinks about this song? He's a werewolf, you know...

PAYMAN

Baby it's Cold Outside as performed by Dean Martin

I chose this song from Dean Martin because it's supposed to be this lovable Christmas song, but what's really going on here? Take a look at the lyrics:

Girl: I simply must go.
Dean Martin: But baby, it's cold outside.
Girl: The answer is no.

Hm... That's curious. Where I come from, no means no? Then there's this:

Girl: Maybe a half a drink more.
Dean Martin: Put some records on while I pour
....

Girl: Say, what's in this drink?
Dean Martin: No cabs to be had out there

Uhhh... It sounds to me like Dino is trying to get this girl liquored up and take advantage of her. Is this the kind of message you want to send to your loved ones this Christmas? If you're me, yes. That's exactly what you're trying to say.

All jokes aside, everyone have a really safe and happy holiday and new year. Be safe, hug some people, talk about egg nog or whatever it is that you find fun. Maybe eat some turkey? I guess that's Thanksgiving, but eat some turkey anyway.